When unanswered questions get answered unexpectedly...

Have you ever had this feeling of Déjà vu? Have you ever spent the whole night thinking of some random questions and the very next day somebody comes only to give you the solutions for all of them?
Last night I just penned down some random thoughts, some inmost feelings, some unasked questions and unflustered emotions.
I felt better as I blurting the bottled up emotions. The chapter ended then and there.
Next day, after a pretty long day, I witnessed a conversation between two of my office colleagues on a particular topic. It lasted for an hour or so but, to my surprise, at the end of this heated debate, I got answers for all the queries I scribbled about last night.

This is what I penned down last night.


“How many times in life do we use defense mechanism?

Denial, Refusal, Repression, Regression, Projection, Rationalization, Displacement, I read all these words a thousand times in Lahey - my big bible for Psychology during my college years. Psychology was always the most interesting (and entertaining) subject for me. I have studied all the Defense mechanisms so well that my friends used to ask me to help them in the subject. Of course, I always scored highest in Psychology.

But, now when I look back and discern, I find myself falling short to cope with daily life problems and playing at least one mechanism at a time (sometimes even two), hundred times a day.

It is so human to apply Defense mechanism to lead a psychologically and socially normal life. But, sometimes it really concerns me. Are these Defense mechanisms always helpful? Do they really defend our psyche against the tensions and anxieties? For instance, I love eating chocolates (just like any other girl) and I find nothing bad in it until somebody says that “Eating chocolates is a symptom of high-depression.” Then and there I decide to cut down on chocolates. But up till now I am confused whether I am/was really depressed or it’s just a mind-game that the guy played on me that day.

As a matter of fact, I feel that these defense mechanisms defend our weaknesses. They pamper our Achilles' heel and make it grow bigger, stronger and deadlier. They sometimes bottle up our emotions while, sometimes let it run away by the back-door.

But beware! The more we bottle up our emotions, the more likely it is that they’ll explode like a volcano. Similarly, after venting out all our feelings in a wrong direction of course, we’ll feel hollow at heart. So, it depends upon every individual which way to choose and how to lead this precious life.

But… but… but! I wonder why my mind and heart always contradict each other. Despite of knowing the fact that severe maneuvering of defense mechanisms is highly detrimental for a sound psyche, I often do the same mistake time and again. I always try not to use Defense mechanisms but I end up using it. It’s just like asking a chain smoker to stop smoking or asking a drug addict to stop doping.”


I won’t write much about the discussion between my colleagues but, would definitely like to thank them both. They don’t know how much relieved I am feeling after listening to their conversation. Thanks guys!